Did You Know...
Closets Of My Mind!
Did you know that I was just "rummaging through the closets of my mind" and I came up with lots of "the write stuff"! And, even a few skeletons, and, I make no bones about it! I know that's atrocious, but it's going to get atrociouser! Like, did you hear about the jet-pilot who parachuted out and landed right fair in a cannibal chief's cooking pot, and immediately heard, "What's this flier doing in my soup?"
Then, the Farm Vacation advertised that "You can milk a cow by hand!" And that's no bull! Just CUMASUR! For kids that think hamburger comes from burger-factories! Then too, the politician was driving past a farm and suddenly spouted, "Oh my! Look at that! They're breeding miniature cows! I wonder if they've applied to ACOA for a grant!" Too much decalfinated coffee! Even the ‘American association of Bovine Practitioners' had the intestinal fortitude to tell her, "They're not "miniature cows", they're calves! Taberduker!
And, Bed & Breakfast for the amoral crowd - you get the Bed but you don't have to stay for the Breakfast! But - Our Town! We have Crafty Outlets, for tourists and their money! And - Nik-Picking Places, to spread a blanket and nik-pik over chicken-breasts with wine and cheese! We have signs that say ‘Fine For Parking', and then we fine the folk who park there, here! As well, we have ‘See The Scenic Sights' signs, and, a really polished enthropologist! More, from the "closets of my mind"!
In Our Town, People, Please, Pull away from the Pumps after you pump your fill, or, twenty-dollars worth! Don't just walk away and go inside, and satisfy your "need for convenients" like coffee and a muffin, or cigarettes, or socialize, or stand at the counter checking your lotto tickets, or scratch away at Scratch & Lose! Simply put - "Pay promptly or pull over"! There's plenty of convenient parking! No pun intended! Particularly for snowmobiles! It's simply a hyperbole vs hyperbolic courtesy thing! It's the time of year when my snowshoes should be starting to leave a trail of dust! I'm pesky! Our Town - my town too - Trusty-Town!
Trusty-Town
If you ask me where I come from
I'll say, "From Trusty-Town!"
With Free and Faith her gemstones
And Upright for her gown,
Her Streets are Sterling, Staunch, and Steady
And ‘Up-And-Up' her Bank
Her business-folk are Loyal
Along with Fair, and Firm, and Frank,
Her band-stand is Open-Minded
Near the corner of Secure
They play "Solid" "Sound" and "Snazzy"
"Tried and True", "Forevermore"!
Her depot is Determined
And her boardwalk is "Well-Founded
Streetlights shining On-The-Level
A town office at Well-Grounded,
Her maxim is Square-Dealing
On a Handshake and One's Word
Substantial and Reliable
Mean that Gossip is unheard,
Her epithet - "Authentic,
Established & Erect"
Where Decent and Dependable
Walk with Enduring and Respect,
Law-Loving are her citizens
And Character her crown
Her paper is the Standard
And Sure-Things won't let her down,
So, you see, That's where I come from
A place of Well Renown
Beside the River - Love of Life
My home-ties … Trusty-Town!
D.C. Butterfield
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Trusty-Town, from the closets of my mind! And, please don't "seal-coat" our streets and rural ways! Although it does have its place, for the first six months it just breaks wind-shields, for the next six months it just eats up tires, and after the next six months we'll be right back where we started, with every crack, repair patch, and pot-hole staring right back at us! Shades of, pave me now or pave me later! Our Town - and its sad that "the best place to eat by a dam site" in Beechwood has closed! A respectful tip of the Butterfield hat! Our Town needs a "fixer-upper" grant! No way! Yet, they give $700,000 to study "fresh-water bodies in the north"! A dead issue! Our Town - where my neighbor provides me with free flue shots, usually two, just after the first heavy frost! Then, I won the exclusive chance to be the "Number-6 Listener" to a Pamela Endherson, the infamous murderous murderess (36-24-37), tape pre-recorded strictly personal txt.message! Life's like that!
Then too, I've finally got my "angel wings" for my "fishin' hat"! I guess that means I'm just the proverbial "stones cast" away from … a "wasagood"! Must've been my "pressure-point projection"! Granted, I don't have a very big, or even have a, trophy-case!
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From the closets of my mind I can clearly recall her saying, "Who do you think you are!", or, an intellectualization of it! She suggested the ‘International Society for Humor Studies! Shades of a peticure for dog-disease! She suggested ‘columnopolis.com'! I simply said I was passing the proverbial time "bleeping"! She suggested I attempt "topological extrication", or, homeomorphism! I told her that it was "a rural interpretation of burghal-urban influenced interests"! She suggested "no redeemable value" so far, to date! I offered a bit of "apres-column"! Kablugie!
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